We Need To Talk: Read this if you too are afraid to talk about your issues and fear judgement.
“You need to open up!”
“But, to whom?”
Mental health is yet not into the mainstream despite deliberate efforts by innumerable people, but accepting it as an inseparable part of your life, talking about it becomes essential. We go through a multitude of emotions, turmoils, highs and lows and tracking and successively talking about them puts us on the first stair to knowing ourselves better. All of us have bad days, and all of us have innumerable lows thus making us all in an empathetic position to talk and listen about mental health. The question that still lingers is to whom? And how do you know who is right? And multiple questions about credibility of sources and information — essentially how to find the right source for both comfort and information.
When you are opening up about your mental health, it’s very significant and key to know what parties are involved. Your mental issues are sensitive information and publicising them is a very big step with consequences. These consequences can be fruitful, in essence gaining support from the community, meeting people with the same issues, and finding people who sympathise with your cause. But on the contrary, when you open up to the wrong people, they might judge you, invalidate your emotions, belittle your problem and also might force conversations that you aren’t comfortable engaging or indulging in. But in this process of opening up, it’s very important that you realise that your feelings aren’t anybody else’s responsibility, people can help you and maybe cheer you onto the path of growth, but you will have to walk the path on your own.
But if there are certain obstacles that you face on this path, welcome to the wonders of the internet, my friend. The internet is this huge hub of information and as if no one knows that, but just for the record, let’s talk about how it can actually help you. The internet can outsource information you need to know when you are encountering a problem. There are various pages on the internet that can help you on your path to mental peace, for example @qludge (uh not so subtle promotions). But on a heavier note, the internet might be very useful and it indeed is, but you need to stay away from fake news on various platforms that might disrupt your mental health instead of helping you. The amount of pseudo-mental health pages that share their rays of toxic aid is just baffling. It is also significant that we understand that the internet is not a place with professionals who can advise us or guide us, they are just random people across the globe who can share their knowledge about certain things. So let us keep in mind that we should not take mental health advice from know-it-alls from the internet but instead seek professional help if we need it.
Seeking professional help is still a taboo for most people and you should not succumb to it. After realising that you might need professional help the imperative step is to accept it and ask for help, it is nothing to be ashamed of — it doesn’t make you any less independent — everyone needs help at various points in their life and even if you don’t, sometimes routinely consulting a psychologist or a counselor helps you maintain your peace of mind and ensure sanity. The person is a specialist in what they do and thus they are more efficient than us which helps them understand us better and thus help us solve our problems. A leaking tap is fixed by a plumber because it’s his speciality, that’s not shameful for us — then why this? The next step is to seek the right person — all of us have our biases; regarding the age, sex, etc. of the person and choosing the professional according to them makes the process more efficient and puts us in a comfort spot. Not only that, but finding a professional who is credible and trustworthy is also vital to ensuring a positive experience. Sometimes, professionals do not suit our needs and don’t prove to be as helpful as they should be and in such scenarios we should not be afraid of changing the professional or putting ourselves forward and asking them to suit our needs a little. Seeking help is your experience and is all for you, whatever you want is okay — but you will have to know that it won’t be linear; of course we are all afraid of addressing certain issues and problems and that makes it a hard step; but until you address them you won’t be able to free yourself from them. You should not look at sessions and consults as magic; they won’t help you magically grow. It will take time and effort; you will have to work and face your feelings…and it will be a long, hard process — but the end will still be a worthwhile experience.
There is already too much stigma surrounding the concept of mental health and more than stigma, there are levels of shame and fear. And not talking about your issues is just going to give in and submit to the fear. All of us actually believe that talking about mental health makes us vulnerable, I don’t seem to understand why we use the term vulnerability in such a negative context. Being vulnerable isn’t bad, instead true courage lies in the strength to come to terms with our problems, or in essence, being vulnerable.
Mental health is a wide subject and essentially when we talk about seeking help, this blog is not enough to deliver everything that we want to, there are a lot of issues which are left unaddressed, So next week’s blog will be a follow up blog elaborating the issues we have touched. Stay Tuned.
